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The big breaking news that I read this week was of a survey that said rich people have more and better sex than the rest of us[1].  Am I the only one who’s depressed by that?  It’s not enough that some assholes have more stuff, they have to fuck better too?  What’s up with that?  It just don’t seem right.

So anyway, digging into the details, we learn that to be considered rich for the purposes of this survey, you have to have at least $30 million in total net worth, and that the average respondent’s net worth was nearly $90 million. Approximately 80% of respondents were married, but while about half the men had been in affairs (in accords with the national average if you believe me source), nearly 75% of woman had!  So for those keeping score at home, that means that rich women are supposedly twice as likely to cheat as non-rich women.  Or perhaps it means that women are 50% more likely to WANT to cheat than men but only about half as likely to feel financially empowered to act on their impulses.  The survey suggests that rich women feel empowered with their lives and so are willing to actually do the freaky shit others only dream of, and I suppose that’s possible.  But personally, I think we make too much of this empowerment thing.  I’d like to see how the respondents’ answers correlate with age.  I have this theory that most of the respondents were secretly older women in bad marriages that they’d let lapse because of a mutual focus on careers and other outside interests, and so they therefore sought solace in other, non-marital situations.  But I’d be interested to see what your thoughts are on it.  Maybe women really do secretly see most of the men in their lives as their oppressors.  Is that possible?

From there, the survey goes on to suggest that rich folks enjoy better sex, defined by men as more with more partners and by women as being simply more fulfilling.  They give a number of reasons for this: less monetary tress in their lives, more opportunity to travel and fuck on airplanes and underwater in SCUBA gear and things like that, and the ability to employ a host of beautiful cabana boys who all look and sound exactly like Ricky Martin.  The list goes on.  Use your imagination.

I personally find it hard to believe that the rich women of the world are freakier than the girls of America’s barrios, but I’ll admit that anything is possible.  Still, it’d be interesting to see the facts of the survey broken out by occupation.  How many independently wealthy women are there who made their own money?  I mean, there can’t be THAT many, can there, that made $30 million on their own?  I just don’t believe there are.  $30 million is a lot of fucking lettuce, and we live in a world where EVERY woman CEO is a BIG DEAL.  They’re rare!  A few, yes.  But 300?  I don’t thing so.  Not in the whole country.  Besides being a pop star or Oprah, I have no idea where a person who isn’t already rich to begin with would go about making the kind of scratch this survey suggests one would need to actually have really good airplane sex.

So maybe it is just a bunch of hotel heiresses who answered this thing.  I can believe that those girls believe they have better sex than the rest of us.  But that doesn’t make it true.  And in that case, we’d be a bunch of fools to buy into the delusions of the rich but self-interested.

Election 2008

Tuesday marked this year’s State of the Union Address, yet even as the President gave his speech, a new poll suggested that fewer Americans than ever had listened.  So I think it’s an appropriate time to take a look at the current crop of presidential hopefuls.  There’s more of ‘em than you can shake a stick at, and the list is growing all the time.

More than anything, I think this list proves once and for all that EVERYONE in Washington wants to be President.  They’re all just waiting for the right time and place to make their moves.  I say that because nearly everyone in Washington who’s ever smelled Presidential power seems to be entering the race, save for those few who’ve had some kind of scandal or major career set-back.  And honestly, this list makes a guy like former Tennessee Senator Bill Frist look really good.  But Frist is a guy who’s smart enough to know that the game is already up, and so he’s retired back to medicine. 

Good for him.

Meanwhile, what’d you think of the State of the Union?  Personally, I thought Bush sounded a little like a drunk ex-boyfriend begging, “Please take me back!” after a particularly nasty fight.  You know, because he’s CHANGED.  And now he’s suddenly READY TO LISTEN.

Uh huh.  Yeah. 

If you believe that, then you deserve to get our ass beat again the next time he comes home with whiskey on his breath.

The bottom line is that Bush cares about his legacy, and he’s willing to sacrifice your son or daughter to ensure it’s a good one.  Personally, it doesn’t take me much imagination to hear the following conversation between Bush and his VP.

BUSH:                 Y’know Dick, we didn’t have to LOSE in Viet Nam.

CHENEY:             Yes sir.  I know it.

BUSH:                 I mean, Hell!  If we’d never left, I bet we’d STILL be there                                    today!

CHENEY (shakes his head):    Whatever you say, Mr. President.

And he says that WE never listen...

COMICS YOU SHOULD BE READING

ROBOTIKA

Written and Illustrated by Alex Sheikman

Colors by Joel Chua

Published by ASP Comics.  127-page hardcover edition for $19.95.

This isn’t going to be a super-long review.  I’ve covered these books individually, but this hardcover is such an unbelievably good-looking book, that I feel like I’d be doing my readers a disservice not to at least give it a few lines here.  I was blown away, and I want you to know it.

How good is this book?  Honestly, it’s one of the most gorgeous comics I’ve ever seen.  I put it up next to my copy of PRIDE OF BAGHDAD and fit right it.  The ROBOTIKA hardcover looks THAT good.  And reviewers have noticed.  Every single review I’ve ever seen for this series notes that Alex is a special talent, who could clearly make it big in the industry if he wanted to work for one of the bigger publishing houses.  But Alex clearly wants to make it one his own terms with his own story, and I’m not one to argue with that.  To me, it’s hard to argue that you’ve not yet arrived when your work is showcased in a major hardcover from one of today’s hottest second-tier publishers, so maybe Alex should be happy with what he has.  But I happen to know that he isn’t, and that he’s already hard at work on his follow-up, Robotika: For a Few Rubles More, and based on how strongly THIS series ended, I’m expecting the new book to kick ass and take names right from the first page.

Where critics have occasionally come down against Robotika is in its writing.  There are some valid criticisms there.  First, because of its structure, Robotika reads a little like a pair of related stories more than it does a single four-issue story.  And then, too, we as readers don’t get a good feeling for the protagonist Nico’s motivations until the third issue.  That’s a shame because by the end Nico is a fascinating character.  If you understand right from the start that he’s a samurai for whom honor is important but who must take his honor from his master’s honor because he serves his master’s interests, then Robotika is an excellent story all the way through.  But unfortunately we don’t begin to see that fact – or more importantly why it’s true – until we get to the third issue.  It’s not surprising the that this is where this story really starts cranking.  The other stuff is good – visually, it’s amazing – but it could be better.  The simple fact is that readers learn as much or more about a character by understanding WHY he or she acts a certain way as they do from seeing WHAT the same character actually does.

So anyway, I have no idea whether or not your local shop has a copy of Robotika in stock, but if they do, and if you’re a fan of hardcore science fiction, then definitely pick this book up.  It’s well worth your time, and it’s as well illustrated as anything on the market.

The Other side

Writer: Jason Aaron

Art and Cover: Cameron Stewart

Colors: Dave McCaig

Letterer: Pat Brosseau

Published by Vertigo.  22 pages for $2.99

The Other Side is a new title from Vertigo that’s written by a man Vertigo describes as “comics rookie” named Jason Aaron.  Jason also happens to be related to the writer of Full Metal Jacket, and in many ways, this series seems an attempt to channel that movie’s sensibilities into sequential art. 

In this story, we meet two protagonists who’re destined to fight in the Vietnam War.  One is an American draftee.  The other is a North Vietnamese volunteer.  Okay, so that’s an interesting premise.  However, for some reason, Aaron then goes on to give each protagonist super-powers, making them like the kid from The Sixth Sense in that they can both see dead people.  Which is annoying in the middle of what would otherwise be a pretty interesting compare and contrast war story, especially given the fact that even after three issues, all these dead people that these guys can see haven’t actually amounted to anything or even influenced the plot much yet.  In some ways, the ghosts seem like an excuse to let Stewart draw all the cool-ass paramilitary hippie nonsense that he used to dream about back when he was in high school.  I suppose that’s cool enough, but it’d be cooler if it had a point.

Meanwhile, I’ve been enjoying both the art and the dialogue in the book tremendously.  Stewart doesn’t get carried away with the wide-screen effects that have become so common in so many American comics, but he definitely has his moment, and those moments shine.  Probably because he isn’t overusing the effect.  I wasn’t in Vietnam, so I can’t comment on whether or not the language is “realistic,” but it certainly sounds like every modern Vietnam war movie you ever saw, and the characters come off as authentic.  For example, the conversation between the protagonist, who’s a white kid from Alabama, and some of his black platoon mates is classic.  These days I think readers mostly forget that Vietnam took place amidst the racial turmoil of the 60’s and early 70’s, but Aaron didn’t forget it, and the book is better for it by far.  And more to the point, there are a million little things like that one that’ve so far kept this series on my Pull List despite the fact that I don’t yet se the point of the high concept.  Because honestly, who cares if they can keep getting the war right?  In the end, I think that’s the part that matters rather than all the talking dead people.

Is The Other Side a COMIC YOU SHOULD BE READING?  I don’t know.  But I’m enjoying it.  If you like war comics, maybe you will too.

Stray Voltage

ComicJobz.Com

And now we’ve come to a place in American history where there is a new comics networking website every single week.  First there was Digital Webbing.  And they had a pretty good run.  And then everyone and their brother was trying to pimp their wares on MySpace, which proved nothing except that most comics producers are over 30 and so hopelessly out of touch with the kids these days.  So then a few guys made a MySpace knock-off called ComicSpace, which was all the rage for about 20 minutes.  And now we come to the new kid on the block, ComicJobz.Com.

The nice thing about ComicJobz.Com is that it’s purely a help-wanted site.  No one’s trying to sell you their lame-ass small press bullshit, thank God.  And because I like to try all these things out to see how well they work, I placed and ad for a new artist for Green Mountain Gunslinger and was rewarded with THREE really good applicants!  So now I’m sifting through that and trying to decide what I’m going to do and how I’m going to do it, but meanwhile my kids have been sick all week.  Thus, despite the fact that this project suddenly looks like the best opportunity I’ve EVER had in the industry – and the fact that, oh by the way, I’d given up on it all completely more than two months ago, and I still don’t think that was a bad decision – I’m suddenly coming across as the worst flake in the history of the small press.

Argh.

God willing, the kids’ll start feeling better soon, and I’ll be able to get all this straightened out by the end of the weekend.  Meanwhile, let me recommend ComicJobz to you as a good place to go and find either a job or a collaborator.

And good luck.  You’re gonna need it.

Testify!

As you read this, I’ll be testifying in front of the Connecticut State Legislature about the flooding that happened at my house last year.  The legislature is considering a measure that would fund the construction of a levy around the Rooster River, and my local representative – Tom Drew for those who are familiar with Connecticut state politics – asked me to come with him for the hearing. 

I mention this because I had to turn in my speech a few days early.  So if you want to read what I’m going to say, CLICK HERE and you can learn all about my flood.

If you don’t mind, I’m gonna skip the economic news this week.  Other stuff has been going on in my life, and so I’ve honestly not been paying much attention this week.  It’ll be interesting to see how – and if – the markets react to the State of the Union.  Beyond that, I think that the new flash technology hard drives that some computer makers are starting to come up with have the potential to influence tech spending out in the future, especially given the speed differential between today’s common hard drives and flash drives.  But that stuff can easily wait until next week.

So until then, stay safe.

***

Dan Head is a utilities analyst and occasional freelance writer.  He was born in the backwoods and raised by a bear.  He has two sets of jaw-teeth and three coats of hair.  He eats his steaks eight inches thick.  And he picks his teeth with a guidon stick.

To get your comic reviewed here, email Dan, or visit him on his hosted forum, DannoE’s Den of Dastardly Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap).