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“A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.” 

~Edgar A. Shoaff

Let’s acknowledge something right up front: lately this column has been about anything and everything other than comics.

You may not care about that.  In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t what I’d call an important issue, an opinion that the numbers around the site lately—and for this column in particular—seem to bear out.  But still, the fact is that this IS a comics review site, and yet I haven’t reviewed many comics lately. 

But PBR is now more profitable than ever, so… so what?

Well, the so what is that I still really like comics.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I REALLY REALLY like comics, but I’ve just been frustrated lately because, with the exception of Star Wars: Legacy, I’ve not seen much that has inspired or impressed me, particularly amongst the comics I’ve gotten for review.  Even Astonishing X-Men has been disappointing, and I’m as big a Whedon mark as... well as I was when Buffy was on TV, anyway, and I was trying to deal with a recent divorce by watching a show about a girl who looked vaguely like my ex-wife.  Which is to say that there are definitely a bunch of bigger Whedon marks out there than me, but I do usually like Whedon’s work, just not as much lately.  And when Joss Whedon is disappointing you, and you’re a comic fan, you’re pretty close to rock bottom—at least as a fan of comics.  After all, Whedon’s probably the biggest, most consistently successful creator in the entire comics-industrial complex[1].  But what can I say?  I’ve walked out of my local comics shop empty-handed more often than not of late, and those times when I’ve NOT been empty-handed, it’s only been because I decided to pick up what was already in my pull-box and not because of any real enthusiasm for what I’d found to read.  And though some of the stuff on my list was okay, I’ve not read anything lately that really blew me away, except for Legacy[2].

But finally, all of that changed this week.  This week’s review comics had not one but TWO really terrific winners, winners with not just the weird-but-interesting stories that are the staple-diet of successful indies, but which also featured terrific art!

Thank God!

Gene Simmons’s

Zipper #1

Created by Gene Simmons

Written by Tom Waltz

Pencils by Casey Maloney

Inks by Stacie Ponder

Colors by Dusty Yee

Letters by Neil Uyetake

Published by IDW, 24 pages for $3.99

Zipper is the story of alien denizen Xeng Ral, a creature born to a world of collective-consciousness thinking who longs for individuality.  The story opens as Xeng is being brought to trial for thinking of himself as “one” rather than as a mere member of the collective.  It then explodes into action non-stop alien-in-leather action of the very coolest variety.

This book is the latest comic brainchild from legendary KISS front man Gene Simmons.  I say latest because KISS is a band who’ve been in and out of comics for pretty much as long as I can remember and who lately seem to be enjoying some kind of comic renaissance.  However, the grunt-work of making this book was done by Tom Waltz and Casey Maloney, the creative team that brought you last year’s critically acclaimed OGN Children of the Grave.  As with that book, this one opens very well.  Writing first issues is tough, but Waltz has chosen a starting point that drops us right into the action from the, well, from the second page onward.  That makes this book a fun ride from start to finish.  It’s efficient and effective writing.  This first issue raises a number of interesting story questions and then provides exactly enough payoff to show that, yes, the story is indeed going to o somewhere.

With all of that said, the thing that makes this book work is the art.  Maloney has a FANTASTIC character design here, and he does a great job of keeping the story moving, even when the action on the page is nothing more than talking.  And then too, the colors by Dusty Yee make the linework sing.  It’s a truism of comics that great colors can make a merely decent book look terrific.  Well, this book already looked terrific; with these colors, it’s awesome!

It’s so, so good to see a great comic from an independent publisher that can compete on art.  Art sells books, especially first issues.  And who knows?  Maybe Gene Simmons’s name will help sell a few books as well.  I certainly hope so because this is a book that deserves a chance.  I really enjoyed it and recommend it without reservation.  Go buy it!  I guarantee it’ll give you your recommended daily dose of bad-ass-aliens-in-leather-beating-down-bad-guys-with-medieval-melee-weapons, and that’s a great thing.

Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus #1

Story by Mike Mignola

Art by Jason Armstrong

Colors by Dave Stewart

Letters by Clem Roberts

Edited by Rachel Ediden and Scott Allie

Published by Dark Horse, 24 pages for $2.99

I gotta admit that I felt like kind of an idiot when I sat down to review this book.  I mean, seriously, what the Hell have I got to say about Mike Mignola’s work?  It speaks for itself, and Mignola’s got the fanbase and the movie franchise to prove it.  And yeah, I get that Dark Horse wants to promote its hot new books on review sites, and I’m more than glad to be the beneficiary of that philosophy, but that does not mean that I owe these guys a free lunch.  And so I thought, “Shit!  What if I hate this book?  I’m gonna look like an idiot!”

Heh.  That was a stupid thought.

The truth is that Lobster Johnson rocks.  What did you expect?  He’s not Mike Mignola because he’s famous.  He’s famous because he’s Mike Mignola, a super-creative guy who consistently comes up with weird but groovy stories that inspire even as they leave you scratching your head.  This story’s no different.  It’s a great trip, and it leaves you wondering how this guy sees the world so much differently than so many of his contemporaries.  It’s a rare gift, and we’re all lucky that he’s chosen to share it with us.

To me, what makes Lobster Johnson work is that it’s a mix of the bizarre and the mundane.  Set in the late 1930’s, it follows the adventures of Johnson and his crew of what can only be described as regular-working-stiffs as they set about righting the wrongs of old-time New York City.  And I grooved on it because it was a bunch of hard-hatted blue-collar guys sitting around in a sewer fighting monsters.  I mean, how cool it that?!  It’s very, very cool.  It’s practically arctic.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how much I enjoyed the artwork here by Jason Armstrong.  It’s got a very similar feel to what we’ve seen lately in the regular BPRD series, and I think that lends a level consistency to the Mignola franchise that helps set it apart from everything else on the shelves.  But where BPRD isn’t always rock ’em, sock ‘em action, this book actually kicks ass, namely in the form of a giant, man-eating gorilla.  And honestly, there aren’t enough of those in my life.

Lobster Johnson #1 is a GREAT issue.  Go buy it and treat yourself.  You deserve it.

NFL: Week 3 in Review

Okay now, before we go any further, let’s pause for a moment to savor the Tennessee Titans’ awesome win on Monday night, featuring my man, OLB Keith “Mr. Monday Night” Bullock in a star-making role.  He had no less than three interceptions, three more passes defended, and something like five tackles while leading his Defense to victory in high style. 

Ahh...  That feels good, doesn’t it?

Do you remember when I said a few weeks ago that the Titans had a chance to do something this season if the Defense could step up early?  Well, don’t look now, but the Defense stepped up, and the result has been that the Titans now seem to have a chance to really do something this season.  Why?  Because the Titans are a notoriously slow-starting team with a seemingly talented but still-green Offense.  I mean, yeah, this receiving corps has shown flashes, but they’ve also consistently dropped passes, leaving points on the board in every game.  Even veteran WR Eric Moulds was guilty on Monday night.  He dropped a touchdown in the End Zone on the Titans opening drive that would have negated a disastrously blown reverse on the preceding play, and yeah, it was a tough catch—he was turned around awkwardly while trying to find the ball—but QB Vince Young put the ball in the right spot—where only Moulds could catch it—and I defy you to tell me that Marvin Harrison wouldn’t have come down with six in that same spot. 

Bottom line: these guys need to get better, and that goes for everyone on the Offense and not just VY.

But the good thing is that the Titans have depth in their Defense for the first time in recent memory, and at the same time, it’s VERY likely that the Titans “O” will gel at some point during the year.  Hell, they’re a young team.  It’s a forgivable sin for them to need time playing together... so long as their Defense can protect them during the initial growth spurt.  And now, with the first three games out of the way and a 2-1 record to show for it, they’re headed into a BYE Week followed by a game against Atlanta.  Clearly THIS is the time for the Offense to mature because that game against the Texans in three weeks is going to be a Death Match of the highest magnitude.  The winner of that game is very likely to be the other AFC South team to make the playoffs.

And so, without further ado, let me get to my main football point this week by way of an apology.  I’m sorry to inflict upon you yet another set of Power Rankings, but by doing them (via straight statistical calculations with no judgment involved), I kind of came to an epiphany about today’s NFL.

Did you catch it?

Basically, I think that the Parity Era of the NFL is over.  This year is the second in a row where we’ve seen teams undeniably start to pull away from the pack year-over-year while others are reverting to their pre-parity form.  Which is to say that you can throw as many free agents and high-quality draft picks as you want to at a broken organization, and at the end of the day, it’ll still be a broken organization.  Or, as Dan Snyder has learned, you can’t buy success no matter how big your wallet if the other things on your team aren’t already working.

In saying that, we have to acknowledge a few things.  First, teams are starting to look at rebuilding as a cyclical, multi-year process.  Happily, that’s placing something of a premium on building a team with real team chemistry while the salary cap simultaneously and ruthlessly ensures that teams are run as zero-sum meritocracies.  The result, over time, is that we’re again starting to see REALLY GOOD FOOTBALL in all phases of the game out of the very best teams.  That’s what we, as fans want, particularly after a period when the overall quality of play has been down due to expansion.

With that in mind, let’s also acknowledge that there now seem to be two separate theories for success in the 2007 NFL.  The first, which we’ll call the Original Ravens Model, says that you can splurge now to build a championship team now if you’re willing to pay the price later.  But the problem with that is that not everyone can win, and an ill-designed splurge can not only fail but can also make your team look ridiculous for a very long time.  Teams with a bunch of high-dollar injury-prone vets are particularly vulnerable in this regard.  The second model of NFL success, which we’ll call the Patriots/Seahawks Model, says that you can be successful by keeping your BEST vets but letting those who aren’t your absolute best go so long as you can simultaneously upgrade the bottom half of your roster.  Because, really, in today’s NFL, it’s the bottom half of your roster that’s gonna win games for you down the stretch, especially if you’ve got a core group of vets to teach the young guys how the organization is supposed to work.  Like it or not, injuries are inevitable.  Over time, your ability to cope with injuries is as important a factor as any other, especially when one also considers that the talent on the BOTTOM half of your roster is also largely what’s going to determine your team’s special teams success.

So there you have it.  We’re back to Haves and Have-Nots, but this time the Have-Nots have no one but themselves to blame.  Welcome to the real world.

Stray Voltage

This is already looking to be the longest column I’ve published in a good, long while, so with that in mind, let me wrap it up here. 

Enjoy your weekend!

***

Dan Head is a utilities analyst and freelance writer.  You can learn more about him and his work on his ComicSpace Page or by visiting his hosted forum at AwesomeStormJustice.com.

To get your comic reviewed here, email Dan at dan@paperbackreader.com.