“I love America more than any other country in this world; and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”

~James Baldwin

The sixth presidential debate is in the books—the first full debate in that it included Fred Thompson—and against my better judgement, I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that former NYC mayor Rudy Guiliani is the best man for the Republican Nomination. I hate to say that because—next to Fred Thompson—Guiliani is also the candidate most likely to make-the-economy-worse-by-continuing-a-legacy-of-poor-fiscal-management-by-so-called-conservatives, but like it or not, Guiliani seems to be the only current candidate with a legitimate shot at being a good president when all factors are considered.

Let’s consider the record: Guiliani did a Hell of a lot for New York City. I know this because I was at West Point immediately before his run as the City’s mayor and then into the first year or so of his tenure. I can remember what this city used to be, and I can look around and see what it became under his leadership. Trust me, Guiliani did a lot, particularly in the area of livibility. Prior to Guiliani’s mayorship, New York City was… well, not quite a cesspool, but certainly not a nice place to live and raise a family. It was the kind of place where we could come as underage cadets when we wanted to drink all night and go to titty bars. I don’t know that it was really as rough as its reputation used to make it out to be, but it certainly wasn’t an inviting, family-oriented place. I remember that we always came here in groups and stuck closely together. Meanwhile, families and businesses were moving out of New York as fast as they reasonably could, which made things worse all the way around because it lowered the tax base, leaving behind only those who couldn’t go elsewhere.

Today, NYC is totally different. The whole place is ridiculously upscale, with parts that look like they were literally transported straight out of Disneyland. Even the titty bars are discrete, well-heeled establishments where the women don’t strip, they “perform nude.” And while I still wouldn’t call NYC a necessarily family-friendly place—to me it’s more a place for rich yuppies who want to hook up all the time—it has at least become possible/non-crazy to try to raise a family here. A lot of our friends are doing it. Hell, my wife taught school here as recently as four years ago, and I never once worried about her on her commute, even when she was pregnant. It all changed because Guiliani enforced the city’s laws and because he made an effort to bring in upscale development as a way to reinvigorate the city’s businesses and basically get a better class of people actually living in town. That created a virtuous cycle that still exists and that today makes New York a nice place to work and visit with my kids.

The downside is that Guiliani accomplished a lot of his work here via deficit spending, somewhat along the lines of what Reagan did in the 1980s with the national economy. Which, given the alternatives, wasn’t a bad thing, but NYC definitely needed a man of the caliber of Michael Bloomberg to put the financial mess right after Guiliani left. From my perspective, it took an incredibly tough, competent guy to tackle the challenges of NYC at the beginning of Guiliani’s term, but once the big social issues had been addressed, we were left with a pugnacious mayor looking for a fight in a city where no one wanted to fight him. And what’s worse, Guiliani had neither the managerial foresight nor the political capital at that point to rectify the financial mess his policies helped perpetuate while he was in office. That he was followed by Bloomberg only proves that those financial problems were actually fixable—had Guiliani but tried to fix them. Granted, Bloomberg had to fight like hell to raise taxes while simultaneously cutting services and civial mismanagement, but he made it work and was then re-elected in a landslide. The end result is that now—after what I’d guess has been nearly 15 years of really good local governance—New York is in perhaps the best shape of its entire history.

So bottom line: I think maybe Guiliani is the guy to fix the really big problems that face our nation. He’s smart, and he’s very good in a crisis, and he did a lot of good when he was put in charge in New York City. Plus, he was absolutely right during the debate earlier this week when he told Mitt Romney that Romney’s beloved line item veto is unconstitutional. So basically, Guiliani has his record on his side, and as far as I’m concerned, he’s been right on the facts as I know them as well.

And more to the point, the fact that Romney kept coming after Guiliani over the line item veto, to me, made Romney seem totally divorced from reality. As Guiliani said, the national line item veto is a dead issue and has been for a long, long time. It’s long past time for us all to get over it. That Romney can’t seemed both scary and short-sighted. Meanwhile, Thompson is proving to be a non-factor—to the point where I think he’s throwing the race because he secretly doesn’t really want to be president—and McCain can’t even manage a campaign, much less a country. And none of the other candidates has a legitimate shot to win.

Which leaves us with Rudy and the perhaps vain hope that he won’t bankrupt the country. As we say in New York, What are you gonna do?

Gene Simmons’s

Dominatrix: Lesson #1

Writer: Sean Taylor

Artist: Flavio Hoffe

Cover: Alex Garner

Letters: Neil Uyetake

Editors: Chris Ryall and Tom Waltz

Published by The Gene Simmons Comics Group and IDW, 22 pages for $3.99

One of the very cool things about reviewing indies is that you occasionally get some kick-ass free swag. In this case, after I reviewed Zipper #1, Tom Waltz and the guys at IDW sent me a bunch more stuff to review, which is sort of par for the course but which is also one of the better perks of doing this job. But this particular box o’ swag rocked harder than most because it had a copy of Gene Simmons’s new comic, Dominatrix—Lesson 1. And it wasn’t just any copy. It was a variant cover edition, signed by none other than Gene Simmons himself. People, that was an incredibly righteous thing for those guys to send over, and not just because I happen to be a pretty big fan of KISS. Well, not so much the face-painting aspect of the group, but I like their music a lot and have since I was a kid. As a matter of fact, I even took said signed copy to work and showed it around to my fellow cubicle-dwellers, a thing which I pretty much NEVER do because, let’s face it, it’s not at all easy to be taken seriously as an engineer when you’re a history major like I am, and playing show-and-tell with your comic collection typically doesn’t help around the office. But this time I made an exception because... well, if you can’t figure out why, then I doubt I can help you.

With all of that in mind, I feel like I ought to admit up front that Dominatrix is not my normal thing. After all, Mr. Simmons described his book as “T&A meets the CIA” in IDW’s promo literature, whereas I tend to go for more of the pseudo-intellectual stuff—and Danger Girl. But I’ll say this about Dominatrix: it’s a Hell of a lot smarter than I thought it would be. I was expecting a nonsensical Brian Pulido-esque boobathon, but in fact, this is a story that’s entirely sensible, well-crafted, and basically a heck of a lot of fun right from the start. And yeah, this book has its share of tits and ass, but it’s not gratuitous. It’s not like Wonder Woman dressing up in a bathing suit to go fight crime. Instead, our heroine is an actual dominatrix who gets caught up in something scary that she doesn’t understand. And since she’s working at the time of the Event, well, what did you think she was gonna be wearing?

Look, I like boobs as much as the next guy, but they’re a whole lot more fun when they make sense in the story. Right? I mean, you can see that, can’t you?

If there’s one problem with this book, it’s the figure work. Although the coloring and printing are gorgeous throughout, the figures get a little stiff in some of the medium-long shots. Don’t get me wrong: artist Alex Hoffe does a nice job on most of his work here, especially on the closer shots, but when he gets to an establishing shot—or basically anything with a full figure in motion—you can see him struggling to keep the characters from looking like contortionists. It’s hardly a fatal error, and it’s nicely masked by the colors, but it’s there, and this is a review, so I’m pointing it out.

But I wouldn’t let that stop you from buying this book if you happen to want to read about kick-ass dominatrixes in take-over-the-world conspiracy stories. And this is a cool story, sort of reminiscent of the movie They Live but with a hot chick in the Rowdy Roddy Piper role, and I’m intrigued to see what happens next. Honestly, the number of comics that I actually buy based on review copies that I’m sent is very, very close to zero percent, but in this case I think I’m gonna make an exception just because I happened to enjoy this book a whole bunch. I really want to know what’s going on. And hey, if that’s not a ringing endorsement, then I don’t know what is.

30 Days of Night: Red Snow

Story and Art: Ben Templesmith

Letters: Neil Uyetake

Editor: Chris Ryall

Okay, so I don’t know if this means that I need to have my geek-card revoked, but I’d never read a copy of 30 Days of Night in my life until this one. I’d heard that it was a cool, non-typical vampire story, but to be honest with you, I don’t really like vampires a whole lot, and you can blame it on Anita Blake, or Buffy, or whoever you want, but I’ve long since found vampires to be entirely too metrosexual for my personal taste. Hey, my dad was an infantry Marine, you know? I don’t like pussy-ass vampires. Get over it.

Maybe that explains why I liked 30 Days of Night: Red Snow so much. I mean, it’s set on the Eastern Front of World War II! We’re talking killer Russian Cossacks, killer Nazi stormtroopers, and all the snow and misery you can ask for, and that’s before we even get into the vampires! Seriously, this is probably the most inventive vampire story I’ve ever seen simply for the fact that the story was horrific before the vampires even came on the scene. As Americans, we don’t read enough about the Eastern Front, and I don’t think this book is gonna change that, but it is still totally cool that Templesmith is trying. And make no mistake: making this book was a gutsy call. Most American comics are set in America because, well, most American comic buyers are American. Americans tend to want to read about the familiar. But this book goes way, way beyond the familiar, into a world of utter chaos and misery, and that’s just in the setting. All of which sets us up for a really strange trip, and one that I enjoyed taking a whole lot. And that’s what’s cool about the indie-press. Indies are where you get off the beaten path and see what’s out there that’s different. This book is that, and it’s good too, and Thank God for it.

I’m not sure how to describe the art in this book other than to say that it’s stylish and moody and beautifully colorful. Typically, the difference between “style” and “crap” is a solid sense of proportion and fluidity to the figures, and that’s definitely in full effect here. I mean, the art isn’t what you’d call realistic, but it’s easy to believe and buy into because the figures look natural and relaxed, even when they’re tense and scared. I dug it the most, particularly because of the way Mr. Templesmith uses his pallet to set the story’s mood.

So bottom line: this is a great book. I recommend it to horror fans of all stripes, but most especially to those who are also history buffs. Ben Templesmith is very clearly a history buff, and because of it, he’s crafted a terrifically unique story set in a Hell beyond most peoples’ worst imagining. If that sounds cool, then this book is for you.

Stray Voltage

I knew I was on the cutting edge this week when I heard former Chicago Bears head coach Mike Ditka say that he thinks that the NFL’s much-vaunted parity system only applies to the middle-tier teams. You might remember that I said something similar two weeks ago. Ditka’s point was that in today’s NFL, there are definitely the HAVEs and HAVE-NOTs, and that it’s very difficult for up-and-coming teams to push the HAVEs out of the way. And at the same time, there are some very bad teams out there that seem to be beyond help. Happily, it seems to me that football is headed back towards a system that favors good teams and good football. Today we’re seeing success out of teams that take a real team-building approach to building a team—and a system that the team’s players can run. We’re seeing success come from GMs who understand the system their coaches are trying to install and who then draft and/or acquire players to run that specific system, which I think explains why teams like the Pats and the Colts can succeed even when some of their best guys are out while the San Diego Chargers are struggling even though they have as much pure talent as any team in the league.

I all makes me happy for my beloved Tennessee Titans because it seems like the Titans finally have a real partnership at the GM-Head Coach level. This season’s Titans don’t have a lot of stars, but they have a lot of players who can effectively run the team’s system, especially on Defense. The result is that the Titans have been able to win, even when their Offense and Special Teams units have played terribly—as they did against Atlanta last week.

So anyway, without further ado, here’s how the teams look from a statistical point of view. Keep in mind that this is a straight calculation; there’s no judgment involved here.

Too bad there’s no strength-of-schedule modifier, huh? I tried to build one, but it came out even over the course of a season, so I dropped it. Sorry.

Anyway, next week the Titans have what should be an exciting game scheduled this weekend against the Bucs. After that, they meet the Texans and then the Raiders. So this then is the part of the season that I said was the make-or-break time, the stretch when the games are supposed to be winnable. And since good teams win the games they’re supposed to win, here’s hoping for the best. But hey, the Bucs, Texans, and Raiders are all suddenly having pretty good seasons, so that means this stretch suddenly seems really interesting. And scary. I’m still hopeful, but it’s a tough league, and things have a way of shaking out differently than we thought they’d be, no?

Meanwhile, my wife and I bought a new car last weekend, and I’m sad to say it, but we didn’t even look at any American cars. In the end, we wanted something that was reliable and fuel-efficient, and so we bought a Honda CR-V.

What can I say besides that I’ve owned three Hondas, and they’ve all been really great cars?

I should add that the coolest thing about the new car is that it came equipped with a ski rack and bike rack already installed on the roof. Awesome! Now all I need is my new mountain bike, and we’ll be in business.

And that’s all I got. Have a great weekend and stay safe!

***

Dan Head is a utilities analyst and freelance writer. You can learn more about him and his work on his ComicSpace Page or by visiting the Friday Mad Science forum at AwesomeStormJustice.com.

To get your comic reviewed here, email Dan at dan@paperbackreader.com.