Dan Head is either off saving the universe this week.  Or he’s playing out some impossible fantasy scenario in his head that ends with the Titans in the Super Bowl.  We’re not sure which, but if I were a betting man… Anyways, Dan will be back to entertain you next week.  Until then, you get me, and I’ve got to say it absolutely cannot be the NFL preseason already.  Seriously.  I’m not ready.

Hi, my name is Richard Nelson, and I’m a Seattle sports fan.  We’re all of us a little bitter, but with damn good reason.  How could we not be when a Seattle coffee company CEO buys a Seattle basketball team, only to sell it to a group that clearly wanted to move the team to Oklahoma?  How could you not be when your Mariners looked so good on paper that there was talk that Ken Griffey, Jr. might come back at the trade deadline if The M’s were in a pennant race, only to see Griffey swinging his bat for The White Sox in August?

Ugh.  Here in Seattle we need at least another month to lament the heinous developments in Seattle basketball and baseball before preparing to root for a Seahawks team that will likely win the NFC West outright – and then roll over pathetically in the playoffs.

Plus, I’m not even over my San Diego Comicon shock yet, so how can I think about football?

 The Nelson Report:  ComiCon 2008

This year, Comicon was bigger than ever.  People flooded the convention hall, and the big-name panels were a series of failed exercises in getting a seat:  The line for panel previewing the upcoming Watchmen film was so long that even those who arrived two hours early still managed to not get in, which sucked because I wanted to be a total fan-boy this year.

The last few years I’ve gone to Comicon looking to meet and greet, to make industry contacts, and maybe get a writing or lettering gig.  This year, with a book I’m very proud of slated for publication in Spring, 2009 and just too much going on outside of comics to even complete anything if I’d managed to successfully pitch it, I just wanted to enjoy the show. 

And you know what?  Despite the vastness of the crowds, and despite not getting into the Watchmen panel, I had a great time.  Ponder this:  Where else but the San Diego Comic-Con can you be sardined into a narrow walking path with 120,000 people between you and whatever kickass-cool thing you really, really, really want to see without ever getting angry because:

(1)   The Watchmen film trailers and Star Wars fan and official videos (Chad Vader, anyone?) are competing for your attention on the your right, there are amazingly detailed and uber-cool pop-culture collectible sculptures kept safely under glass on your left, and a real-life Jedi babe walking with a hot slave Leia straight ahead.

(2)   You know that when you say “I have a bad feeling about this,” every one of those 120,000 people in your way know you’re making a Star Wars joke. You know that they’re only in your way because they dig this stuff as much as you do, and that that’s really cool.

I missed most of the cool stuff at the convention, got very little done on a professional level, and still managed to have a great time.

How Not To Break Into Comics

That was the name of the panel I almost didn’t go to, but I’m glad I did.  You see, there are some “common sense” rules about breaking into comics that professional and semi-professional creators, indy press vets, and comic book forum moderators have been telling newbs to follow for years, but they never seem believe us!  Now we’ve got some backup from big time editors Randal C. Jarrell (managing editor, Oni Press) and Jennifer de Guzman (editor-in-chief, SLG Publishing), who told us in this very fun and informative panel, how to fail in your goal of breaking in to comics:

1.    Don’t Worry About Quality!

It’s an unfortunate fact for the aspiring comics creator that there are far more people trying to break into comics than the market can support, and most of them firmly believe that their story is the best story never told, and that the art in the book is fantastic because their grandma’s knitting circle said so.

According to Randal and Jennifer, less than 1% of the materials submitted to SLG and Oni are of publishable quality.  Of the other 99%, the stories just aren’t compelling, or they’re unoriginal retreads of something else, or the art just isn’t good enough.

Their advice to the writers of the unoriginal retread stories is to stop trying to write something you think the publisher wants, and write something you believe in instead.  Publishers are looking for something new and good, not something the creators think is “just like” what the publisher already publishes.  So don’t pitch “the next Black Metal” to Oni, and don’t pitch “the next Emo Boy” to SLG, because they’ve got the originals. 

And whatever you do, don’t pitch your book as “the next Invincible” to Image.

       

To the creators with stories or art that just aren’t up to par, they suggest honestly taking a good, long look at your work and comparing it to what’s already on the shelves.  If it’s not as good as the best stuff out there, you likely don’t have a chance of breaking in with that story.  In that case, go back, practice, and try again… Or self-publish and try to build a fan base on your own.

2.    Don’t Research The Company You’re Pitching To!

Jarrell told a story of a writer pitching to him at a convention who asked him what Oni was looking for in new projects.  “I told him quality,” he said.  “We’re looking for quality stories about anything except superheroes or vampires.”  The writer then opened his folder, to reveal the art for his big project, which he believed would be perfect for Oni Press… A tale of a Vampire Superhero, who…

*sigh*

The biggest mistake most creators make when pitching projects to publishers, is pitching inappropriate material because they haven’t done proper research about the company or editor they’re pitching to.

Sending material inappropriate to the publisher’s needs, de Guzman says, is a surefire way to not only get your project rejected, but also ensure that the publisher won’t want to work with you in the future. The same goes for sending “Dear Sir” letters, getting the company name wrong in your submission (for the record, Jarrell reminds us that it’s Oni Press, not Omni Press), sending art that doesn’t fit with the company’s line of books, or arguing with an editor when they tell you the material isn’t what they’re looking for.

Failing to research the company you’re submitting to, Jarrell and de Guzman say, shows that not only do you not care about the company you’re pitching to, but it also says something about your character and what it might be like to work with you:  If you can’t bother to research the company, or to look up the company’s submission guidelines and follow them, how can they as a publisher expect you to follow instruction if they agree to publish your book?

3.    Artists, Just Send Pinups!

Both de Guzman and Jarrell agree that the biggest mistake artists make when submitting material is that they don’t send enough sequential work.  One pinup, if that, is good enough for a submission package.  The thing is, Jarrell explained, “A good sequential artist generally can do good covers and pinups, but a good pinup artist can’t necessarily draw sequentials.” 

The second biggest mistake most artists make is submitting art that doesn’t fit their line.  “Whenever we get superhero art, even really great superhero art” de Guzman said, “we don’t know what to do with it because we don’t do superhero books.”

The third common mistake is aping… Artists often send samples that ape the styles of certain artists who already work on books for the publishers.  Not only is it often offensive to the artist in question, our editors told us, but generally speaking, editors are looking for something new and original. 

4.    Writers, Send In Your Retread Of Last Year’s “Big Thing!”

Jennifer de Guzman, while she’s aware that lots of male comic book readers (and by extension, male comic book writers) like crazy girls, and like the idea of a hero who saves a crazy girl from… whatever… she was very clear when she said “I’m tired of stories about crazy girls who are the victim.”

She and Jarrell both were tired of pitches with Hollywood loglines where “This Classic Story” meets “That Classic Story.”  They want a new classic story, not a retread of other stories.  They want a true “voice” behind the story and not just something the writer thinks “will sell.”

They’re both tired of failed movie writers pitching their scripts as comic book miniseries, or creators who are just using the comic book medium as a way to sell their story to Hollywood.  Pitches that sell themselves by proclaiming, “It would make a great movie!” stand a small chance of getting picked up, because editors want stories that exist, and creators that work, with comics being the goal of creation, not the means to a Hollywood end.

In short, both editors want writers and stories that are authentic, and that are written for the comic medium first and foremost.

5.    Spend Lots Of Money On Your Pitch Presentation!

Printing off pricey, high gloss versions of your art at Kinkos and bounding your pitch in a thick, expensive three-ring binder won’t necessarily keep you from breaking into comics, Jarrell and de Guzman said, but it sure won’t help you.

If the pitch isn’t among the 1% of publishable projects, then no sort of packaging or re-packaging is going to get it published.

On the other hand, if your submission is sloppy and unprofessional, it will definitely hurt your chances.  Again, if your submission is a disorganized mess, then you’re likely disorganized and a mess as a person, and people like that are unreliable and not a lot of fun to work with.

6.    Be “Zany,” Or Even “Downright Crazy!”

“Just because we publish books about crazy people and situations at SLG,” de Guzman warned, “doesn’t mean we want to work with crazy people.”  She and Jarrell both warned that, while showing up an editor’s office in a crazy costume modeled after the character they’re pitching might get the editor’s attention, it probably won’t help them get the pitch published.

“As a general rule,” Jarrell pointed out, “The crazier the costume, the less reliable the creator.”  Like the disorganized mess of a person, the unreliable, zany guy probably isn’t a lot of fun to work with.

So don’t be whacky.  Be talented, be professional, and be persistent.

7.    Don’t Worry About A Web Presence!

A web presence, both editors agreed, can definitely help a creator.  It won’t give you a “shoe-in,” but because the comics community is relatively small, having a good name and being known as a reliable creator by the online comics community can help you when you do finally have a project that’s ready to pitch.

Both said that having a web-comic can be very good for a creator trying to break in because (1) it can serve as a resume piece, and (2) it’s a great way to build a creator-audience connection, and editors love creators who have built-in audiences for their work.

Writing reviews doesn’t, they say, serve quite as well as a resume piece.  While it can show how well the article writer can write, it doesn’t really tell you if the article writer can tell a story well.  Further, it can become – or be seen as – a conflict of interest for a comic book writer to review other comic book writers.

8.    Give Long Winded Pitches At Conventions!

Okay, so I made the last one up, but I think it’s mostly true.  See, I had a moment to speak with Jennifer de Guzman the day after the panel, and let her know I intended to write this column about it.  She was very pleasant and said she’d look forward to reading it, but as our brief conversation wound down, I could almost see her mentally brace herself for the story I was winding up to pitch. 

Last year, or the year before, I might have pitched her something anyways.  If I’d had anything ready this year, I might have pitched it.  But I didn’t, and when I closed our conversation with, “And no, I’m not going to pitch you anything right now,” her relief was visible.  So even though they didn’t say it, realize that editors are people too, with hectic jobs that just get harder at conventions, and use some common sense about when it’s appropriate to pitch them your work.

Ask first, and if they say “Sorry, not right now,” simply thank them and leave.  If they do have a moment to talk to you, realize that you represent “extra work” for them at what is likely an already hectic convention, and be brief.

They’ll surely appreciate it, but not enough to get past your crazy costume, your zany demeanor, and your portfolio that consists of pinups of your creator-owned character, “the next” Blade who is the Vampire Superhero in your story, a sure Hollywood hit which can best be described as “Interview With a Vampire” meets “Sin City”… all printed up on high gloss paper and sloppily arranged in an expensive three-ring binder.


Comic Book Reviews?

Oh right.  This is a review column?

Damn.  I knew I forgot something.

***

Richard Nelson is a restaurant manager, a freelance comic book writer and letterer, and moderator of the Digital Webbing Writer’s Forum.  You can learn more about Richard and his work by visiting his ComicSpace page or his hosted forum at UggaBugga.net.  Richard’s upcoming story Clipstick is a six-part miniseries scheduled for release by APE Entertainment in Spring, 2009.